[ Picking up the crackers, Will grabbed his bag and tucked them away; stalling. Eventually he set the bag aside, glanced around to make sure he was aware of where everybody was either sleeping or otherwise occupied, then he drew up one knee and tipped himself towards House. Not invading personal space, just keeping the conversation private. ]
Watson wouldn't listen to me if I tried. That's how Hannibal works, he makes sure that those he keeps close, believe in him at least more so than they would believe in someone like me.
[ Add on the fact that Will had never made a particularly good impression on Watson, that was definitely a non-starter.
Besides. ]
House, I don't know if you will understand this, because I don't know if any sane person would want to understand this. [ Commentary on himself and his circumstances, rather than House's ability to grasp the impossible. ] Hannibal is as equally driven to destroy and consume me as he is to be in love with me, almost above anyone else ... even Miller. I am both a weakness and a threat to him, but I am almost the person who sees him and doesn't flinch away.
It's a precarious balancing act and it is a question of when, not if, the scales tip towards the murder option.
[ Saying it aloud, for the first time it made Will feel ... weak, in front of House, as if he'd failed, and a heavy wash of shame came with it. But he took a deep breath and kept driving to where he was going with all this. ]
If it was just he and I? I know I could take him down with me, I've done it once already. But now there is too great a risk of collateral damage, and I'm tired of the collateral damage.
[ He knew House would seethe at the idea of being protected, so Will went at that in a roundabout way. It was House he was protecting, but also Ecks, Ginger, Watson ... those who would be left behind with Hannibal if Will failed to take the older man with him. ]
So he and I are at a bit of an unspoken truce, compromise even. We've always been a zero sum game, and here is no different. If I were to go in and mess with his machinations, that would destroy the balance and then it would be open warfare between us.
That said, I've done what I could to try to get Sherlock to pay attention, but I don't know how much good it did.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation.
Watson wouldn't listen to me if I tried. That's how Hannibal works, he makes sure that those he keeps close, believe in him at least more so than they would believe in someone like me.
[ Add on the fact that Will had never made a particularly good impression on Watson, that was definitely a non-starter.
Besides. ]
House, I don't know if you will understand this, because I don't know if any sane person would want to understand this. [ Commentary on himself and his circumstances, rather than House's ability to grasp the impossible. ] Hannibal is as equally driven to destroy and consume me as he is to be in love with me, almost above anyone else ... even Miller. I am both a weakness and a threat to him, but I am almost the person who sees him and doesn't flinch away.
It's a precarious balancing act and it is a question of when, not if, the scales tip towards the murder option.
[ Saying it aloud, for the first time it made Will feel ... weak, in front of House, as if he'd failed, and a heavy wash of shame came with it. But he took a deep breath and kept driving to where he was going with all this. ]
If it was just he and I? I know I could take him down with me, I've done it once already. But now there is too great a risk of collateral damage, and I'm tired of the collateral damage.
[ He knew House would seethe at the idea of being protected, so Will went at that in a roundabout way. It was House he was protecting, but also Ecks, Ginger, Watson ... those who would be left behind with Hannibal if Will failed to take the older man with him. ]
So he and I are at a bit of an unspoken truce, compromise even. We've always been a zero sum game, and here is no different. If I were to go in and mess with his machinations, that would destroy the balance and then it would be open warfare between us.
That said, I've done what I could to try to get Sherlock to pay attention, but I don't know how much good it did.