and it wasn't your teeth it was your gullet i've worked with enough rats to know a real one's mouth when i see it so what are you exactly? burmecian are you some kind of experiment?
oh, golly! you know me too well i worry SO much about being impolite now i just feel like an awful person what am i going to do with myself???
oh, right, tell you that if you look like a rat have a gullet like a rat and i'm guessing skitter like a rat you're probably descended from rats really fancy rat, though digging the whole "headfur" thing going on do you condition or is it naturally that shiny?
also, just a heads up, most experiments for cloning and genetic manipulation require a womb made AND born what a concept
["shiny"? She pulls a section of her hair in front of her eyes to scrutinize it, wondering if this shampoo she's been using has actually helped, but lets go almost immediately, frustrated with herself. Stay on target, Crescent. Don't let him get inside your head.]
We don't have experiments like that where I'm from. Which I'm glad I can say, because that sounds disgusting.
I may be distant kin with rats, but I'd still rather you didn't call me one. Is it so hard to see why? For instance, you look a bit like a naked monkey, but I'm not going around calling you or the other humans that.
give me a hardwood floor, some mouse traps, and your bare feet fifty bucks says you skitter
and it's totally disgusting some people even say it's unethical but they're the crazies who throw red paint on fur coats and break into cosmetics labs to set all the animals free nobody listens to them
also if you're going to go for the insult go for our actual ancestors apes sorry, no tails i'm guessing you have one, though show it to me on the vid
[Why, yes. He is going to just start demanding to see your rodent anatomy now, Freya. He didn't call you rat there. That totally makes you friends, right?]
[well that sure is a column of baffling and insulting garbage. She leaves House sitting in suspense for a few minutes as she reads it through a few times and decides how to tackle it.]
One. That's very specific, and it's ridiculous. No.
Two. I haven't the slightest idea what red paint or cosmetics have to do with animal experimentation, but at least we've finally agreed on something.
Three. Monkeys, apes; what's the difference? And I will absolutely not show you my tail. You asked for text, so that's what you've got.
Before you called me an experiment, you called me something else: "another kin"? I can't remember. Tell me what you meant.
one what if i said "please" with puppy eyes? not like the actual eyes of a puppy mainly because i don't have one right now are there puppy people where you're from?
two peta it's a good thing you don't have them in your world though they'd probably tell you they're an "ally"
three different suborders on the family tree and tit for tat i'll tell you what "otherkin" are if you show me your tail
[dammit, House, that's not concise. She sets her tablet down, rubs her hands over her face, groans loudly (and manually deletes the jumbled mess the voice-to-text program makes of that), and then goes about replying.]
One. No. And yes. They're called "children".
Two. Oh, whatever.
Three. This is stupid. Why do you want to see my tail so badly? There's nothing remarkable about it. Don't any people at all in your world have them? If not, then animals do, surely.
what do you call actual puppies? do you even have any animals that aren't talking and sentient? pets? or is that inrodentane? or whatever word "burmecians" use for "inhumane"
and i wanted to see your tail because i was curious now i want to see it because you don't want to show me i've never seen a tail on an animal person before that in itself makes it remarkable like your face or, hey, maybe i'm just looking to catch some tail and i want to know what i'm chasing after take your pick, hot fuzz
[she pokes her tongue out at the tablet and gags out loud at "hot fuzz".]
You're vile.
And of course we have animals back home. Tamed ones, like dogs, cats, chocobos, and so on, and wild beasts alike. Most of them can't speak.
[she doesn't want to give in, but she knows it might be the easiest thing to do to get him to shut up. And he's only going to get more embarrassing the longer she holds out. So, with a deep, sinking feeling, she says:]
I'll tell you what: let's make it even. You show me your face on the video, and then I'll turn my video on. We can both satisfy our curiosity.
Unless you're embarrassed about not living up to your username.
[Can Burmecians actually vomit? Or are they prevented like normal rats. Biology questions for the ages.
House hasn't used the video function and doesn't particularly want to given the fact that he knows he looks like hell. It hasn't been that long that he's been here, but it's long enough that he really is starting to look like a complete hobo with a salt and pepper beard and his brown and equally graying hair poking out in wispy curls from beneath his beanie. But he's not going to back down.]
wanna see my pretty face? not as furry as yours but I'm working on it this is lasting long enough for you to get a look, furball, then i'm going back to text there are like eight people in this freaking shed
[He flips over to video and she'll be treated to a look of mild irritation on his face. House's eyes glance up every so often, checking on the others as he waits for a view of her face and tail.]
Oh, look on the bright side, doctor. At least that means its warm.
[even with a comforter and her fur, she's uncomfortably cold anywhere but beside the fire she's built. Not to mention the silence. She thinks she'd take even being in close quarters with House and seven other randos over being alone in this house.]
[not that she'd say any of that out loud. In fact, as she takes in his appearance, she doesn't say anything at all, hoping she can make him feel awkward. Like a specimen, instead of a person, even.]
[now who would go and do a thing like that. What a mystery.]
[but, at last:]
I wonder: would asking for a real name to go with that face be pushing my luck?
Edited (notices a typo ten years later and edits anyway) 2015-10-21 01:14 (UTC)
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rubikscomplex) wrote2015-08-27 10:05 am
no subject
great chat
and it wasn't your teeth
it was your gullet
i've worked with enough rats to know a real one's mouth when i see it
so what are you exactly?
burmecian
are you some kind of experiment?
no subject
[autocorrect is one drawback of voice-to-text, and she notices the mistake only after the message is sent. She follows up quickly:]
Oh for goodness' sake. Burmecian, you stupid machine. Not you, doctor; the tablet.
Anyway. We might look like rats, but we very much aren't. It's impolite to call us that.
no subject
you know me too well
i worry SO much about being impolite
now i just feel like an awful person
what am i going to do with myself???
oh, right, tell you that if you look like a rat
have a gullet like a rat
and i'm guessing skitter like a rat
you're probably descended from rats
really fancy rat, though
digging the whole "headfur" thing going on
do you condition or is it naturally that shiny?
also, just a heads up, most experiments for cloning and genetic manipulation require a womb
made AND born
what a concept
no subject
We don't have experiments like that where I'm from. Which I'm glad I can say, because that sounds disgusting.
I may be distant kin with rats, but I'd still rather you didn't call me one. Is it so hard to see why? For instance, you look a bit like a naked monkey, but I'm not going around calling you or the other humans that.
[after a moment, she adds:]
And I don't skitter.
no subject
fifty bucks says you skitter
and it's totally disgusting
some people even say it's unethical
but they're the crazies who throw red paint on fur coats
and break into cosmetics labs to set all the animals free
nobody listens to them
also if you're going to go for the insult
go for our actual ancestors
apes
sorry, no tails
i'm guessing you have one, though
show it to me on the vid
[Why, yes. He is going to just start demanding to see your rodent anatomy now, Freya. He didn't call you rat there. That totally makes you friends, right?]
no subject
One. That's very specific, and it's ridiculous. No.
Two. I haven't the slightest idea what red paint or cosmetics have to do with animal experimentation, but at least we've finally agreed on something.
Three. Monkeys, apes; what's the difference? And I will absolutely not show you my tail. You asked for text, so that's what you've got.
Before you called me an experiment, you called me something else: "another kin"? I can't remember. Tell me what you meant.
[she sends that, then quickly sends a follow-up:]
Concisely.
no subject
what if i said "please" with puppy eyes?
not like the actual eyes of a puppy
mainly because i don't have one right now
are there puppy people where you're from?
two
peta
it's a good thing you don't have them in your world
though they'd probably tell you they're an "ally"
three
different suborders on the family tree
and tit for tat
i'll tell you what "otherkin" are if you show me your tail
no subject
One. No. And yes. They're called "children".
Two. Oh, whatever.
Three. This is stupid. Why do you want to see my tail so badly? There's nothing remarkable about it. Don't any people at all in your world have them? If not, then animals do, surely.
no subject
do you even have any animals that aren't talking and sentient?
pets?
or is that inrodentane?
or whatever word "burmecians" use for "inhumane"
and i wanted to see your tail because i was curious
now i want to see it because you don't want to show me
i've never seen a tail on an animal person before
that in itself makes it remarkable
like your face
or, hey, maybe i'm just looking to catch some tail and i want to know what i'm chasing after
take your pick, hot fuzz
no subject
You're vile.
And of course we have animals back home. Tamed ones, like dogs, cats, chocobos, and so on, and wild beasts alike. Most of them can't speak.
[she doesn't want to give in, but she knows it might be the easiest thing to do to get him to shut up. And he's only going to get more embarrassing the longer she holds out. So, with a deep, sinking feeling, she says:]
I'll tell you what: let's make it even. You show me your face on the video, and then I'll turn my video on. We can both satisfy our curiosity.
Unless you're embarrassed about not living up to your username.
>video
House hasn't used the video function and doesn't particularly want to given the fact that he knows he looks like hell. It hasn't been that long that he's been here, but it's long enough that he really is starting to look like a complete hobo with a salt and pepper beard and his brown and equally graying hair poking out in wispy curls from beneath his beanie. But he's not going to back down.]
wanna see my pretty face?
not as furry as yours
but I'm working on it
this is lasting long enough for you to get a look, furball, then i'm going back to text
there are like eight people in this freaking shed
[He flips over to video and she'll be treated to a look of mild irritation on his face. House's eyes glance up every so often, checking on the others as he waits for a view of her face and tail.]
no subject
[even with a comforter and her fur, she's uncomfortably cold anywhere but beside the fire she's built. Not to mention the silence. She thinks she'd take even being in close quarters with House and seven other randos over being alone in this house.]
[not that she'd say any of that out loud. In fact, as she takes in his appearance, she doesn't say anything at all, hoping she can make him feel awkward. Like a specimen, instead of a person, even.]
[now who would go and do a thing like that. What a mystery.]
[but, at last:]
I wonder: would asking for a real name to go with that face be pushing my luck?
no subject
well, gosh, all you had to do was ask
my name's gregory house
SO nice to meet you
you can call me gory
it's a doctor joke
show me your tail
no subject
[she snorts and reaches to prop up the tablet, to frame herself... but then she hesitates. She looks at the icon for video. She doesn't push it yet.]
I could refuse to indulge you.
[is she stalling? She's definitely stalling.]
It might serve you right, to be left tailless after all of this nonsense.
no subject
sure
if YOU doing mind being a lying scumbag who doesn't uphold her end of a deal
i mean i'm fine with that