You misunderstand me. [ Will said, tossing aside his bit of rubble and drawing his knees upwards so he could rest his arms atop them. ]
I can barely stand to listen to anyone. [ He lifted one hand and began to tick off names. ] Hannibal, Molly, Alana, Jack, Abigail and you. Oh look, I've reached the need to use two hands.
The rest of the world, whether they be male, female, or other? Being around them is like being wrapped in a blanket of cut glass.
[ Will paused and after a second, he lowered the one finger raised on his other hand, so he was only holding up five. ] Pull Jack off that list. I believed in him, at one time and I cared about him, but he was never interested in me as a person.
[There's an uncomfortable sort of thrill when House is named off as one of the people Will doesn't mind for company. That's ridiculous, of course, and House has no desire to act like some sort of eager puppy around the younger man. He shoves it aside to deal with later.]
Well, in that case, yeah. Usually you have to be around them. I mean, unless you wanna cyber with her. I can dig that.
[ Will's lips twitched and he couldn't resist the obvious joke; even if it was aimed at himself. ]
Even my dick's not long enough to reach someone in another room. Cybering would still involve interacting. I'll leave that to you and make a note to tease you about condoms and pregnancy tests after the fact.
[ Nope. He has not forgotten that!
The ex-profiler wasn't going to try to hold back the conversation and make hay out of his comment, listing House among people he could tolerate. It was the truth and Will wasn't entirely sure why or when, but he did know that he could breath when he was around House. And he knew enough about his own fragile mental state to realize how rare it was to feel comfortable around someone.
It was the thing that gave him pause when he planned out how to make sure he ended up in the suit. There was no fear of pain or death. Even though he knew Hannibal was not going to be pleased, he also understood that the doctor's curiosity would bring him back around.
But House?
Losing House was going to hurt, and hurt in a way that he was particularly vulnerable too. ]
[ He'd eventually heard about it from Alana. She had thought she was doing the right thing, letting him know. Will was of two minds on the subject. Part of him agreed with her and part of him wished he'd never known. ]
[ House, it may be best to never try to follow Mason Verger's line of reasoning. Hannibal, yes. Mason, no. ]
Apparently the child went full term but was not viable.
[ He speaks with a calm, clinical detachment. He had gone through his mourning period back when Margot first "lost" the pregnancy and he had never actually seen the baby. ]
Mason Verger was a unique kind of sadist, with an extremely unsettling attachment to pigs.
[The clinical detachment still has House sobering. He glances down at his tablet, Peter's message the last thing he saw there.]
I'm sorry.
[For Will's psyche, mostly. And whoever the woman was who had that happen to her. Because that would be some kind of insane medical breakthrough if that had actually worked.]
[ Oddly enough, Will found himself ... appreciative of the sympathy shown. He gave a small nod, then leaned back against the wall. ]
It was probably a mercy. [ He said, after a moment. ] I'm no genetic material jackpot, and even if Margot was nowhere near the psychopath her brother was; I wouldn't wish any child, let alone a child of mine, into that theater of misery.
Mason Verger was true evil. [ Will continued, in a soft voice. ] Hannibal is ... Hannibal, but I could sit here and walk you through everything that made him, who he is; from the abuse of his childhood and on.
Mason was a man who delighted in cruelty. Pain and death weren't enough for him, he bathed himself in pure cruelty.
[House picks up his tablet and sets it to play on the video that Peter sent. It shows where Peter has cut the names of his friends into his arm, the wound still fresh, some of the deeper incisions still welling with blood. There are also the observations House made about the Pit carved into the man's arm.]
I was gonna do it myself, just in case they wiped our memories. He literally begged me to let him use my scalpel to do it, instead. I told him no. He said he'd give me a bunch of music. I said no. So, he offered a no-questions-asked, drop-everything favor.
[House shrugs.]
My prize. [He sounds just thrilled about it.] Guess he thought I wanted to up the ante from cutting to suicide.
[ Will didn't immediately respond. Instead, he took time to look at the video closely and also to absorb what House was saying.
And what he wasn't saying. ]
Quill is a study in emotional extremes, House. He's trying to function under an impossible guilt complex and he's torn between wanting to be a hero and wanting to be a villain.
[ Looking down, Will reached up and pulled his glasses off his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose for a moment. ]
You're going to court extreme displays, when you poke at him.
[It's petulant, but it's true, so there. House has some mild sense of self-preservation very occasionally, and going after the guy who's claimed to want to murder him is a bad idea.]
I was even nice to the cat.
[So that he can torment her with it later. Details.]
I wasn't trying to push his buttons. [It comes as a snap now, House digging in his heels. If he were a dog, his ears would be back and his hackles would be raised.] I didn't even want him to do that to himself. I told him not to. He's a moron.
I don't need people to spare me pain. I know how to deal with it.
[The physical kind much better than the other kinds.]
[ Given the amount of time they had been traveling together, Will had worked at shutting off his instinct to read House. Like keeping one eye constantly closed.
But he couldn't ignore the way his inner mind's eyes flashed, the pendulum swinging with a soft fhwum fhwum. It wasn't a full recreation of any given scene, but rather a soft tumble into a psyche not his own.
A man so driven by the impossible task of earning the recognition of an abusive father, that the failure to attain the impossible had shattered the child within. Leaving behind the fiercely independent man, determined to rely on noone but himself. Ultimately betrayed in that very basic need by his own body and then by the person he'd allowed in close.
In a weaker man the destruction of basic trusts could have lead down the path of a spree killer. However the strength of a good heart had instead turned that pain and rage towards the only acceptable subject; himself.
Already in a dangerously unhealthy position, Norfinbury had only added fuel to the self destructive fires. The urge was pitched beyond measure now, to destroy rather than surrender.
Only like it was back home, a good heart turned it inwards, rather than out. Despite what people saw from the outside, looking in. Inwards where his will was in command. Except Norfinbury was a living hell for almost all of them and no matter how desperately he bellowed out his demands, the pain didn't let up.
Which left the child still aching for recognition that wasn't coming, and the cycle started all over again.
House must be exhausted.
Will blinked rapidly a couple of times and then cast his gaze down and to the side. Giving ground to the raised hackles and bared teeth. Leaving House's snarls as the last words on the subject. ]
[House can tell Will is doing his thing, and watches him in cold silence for some comment. When the other man demurs, keeping what he's seen to himself, there's a note of gratitude that House swiftly crushes down and tosses aside. He'd had a plan to try to sow a few seeds of doubt that he really wanted to see his own end, and that really hasn't worked out.
The doctor just drops his own gaze and grabs the chew toy from out of his pack. Screw it. Will's already seen it, seen the teeth marks. House gnaws on that and goes back to stalking people on the network.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rubikscomplex) wrote2015-08-27 10:05 am
no subject
Will gave the matter some thought, before asking the important question. ]
Do I have to listen to her?
no subject
It's 3151--give or take--we've had to listen to them for centuries. They can even vote now.
no subject
I can barely stand to listen to anyone. [ He lifted one hand and began to tick off names. ] Hannibal, Molly, Alana, Jack, Abigail and you. Oh look, I've reached the need to use two hands.
The rest of the world, whether they be male, female, or other? Being around them is like being wrapped in a blanket of cut glass.
[ Will paused and after a second, he lowered the one finger raised on his other hand, so he was only holding up five. ] Pull Jack off that list. I believed in him, at one time and I cared about him, but he was never interested in me as a person.
no subject
Well, in that case, yeah. Usually you have to be around them. I mean, unless you wanna cyber with her. I can dig that.
no subject
Even my dick's not long enough to reach someone in another room. Cybering would still involve interacting. I'll leave that to you and make a note to tease you about condoms and pregnancy tests after the fact.
[ Nope. He has not forgotten that!
The ex-profiler wasn't going to try to hold back the conversation and make hay out of his comment, listing House among people he could tolerate. It was the truth and Will wasn't entirely sure why or when, but he did know that he could breath when he was around House. And he knew enough about his own fragile mental state to realize how rare it was to feel comfortable around someone.
It was the thing that gave him pause when he planned out how to make sure he ended up in the suit. There was no fear of pain or death. Even though he knew Hannibal was not going to be pleased, he also understood that the doctor's curiosity would bring him back around.
But House?
Losing House was going to hurt, and hurt in a way that he was particularly vulnerable too. ]
no subject
no subject
[ He'd eventually heard about it from Alana. She had thought she was doing the right thing, letting him know. Will was of two minds on the subject. Part of him agreed with her and part of him wished he'd never known. ]
no subject
Someone tried to have a pig play surrogate for a human fetus?
[That's actually a fascinating notion. Horrifying, particularly if Will's involved in this somehow, but... still...]
Guessing that didn't go so well.
no subject
Apparently the child went full term but was not viable.
[ He speaks with a calm, clinical detachment. He had gone through his mourning period back when Margot first "lost" the pregnancy and he had never actually seen the baby. ]
Mason Verger was a unique kind of sadist, with an extremely unsettling attachment to pigs.
no subject
I'm sorry.
[For Will's psyche, mostly. And whoever the woman was who had that happen to her. Because that would be some kind of insane medical breakthrough if that had actually worked.]
no subject
It was probably a mercy. [ He said, after a moment. ] I'm no genetic material jackpot, and even if Margot was nowhere near the psychopath her brother was; I wouldn't wish any child, let alone a child of mine, into that theater of misery.
Mason Verger was true evil. [ Will continued, in a soft voice. ] Hannibal is ... Hannibal, but I could sit here and walk you through everything that made him, who he is; from the abuse of his childhood and on.
Mason was a man who delighted in cruelty. Pain and death weren't enough for him, he bathed himself in pure cruelty.
no subject
[Look at him! He pays attention when you talk at him, Will. House rubs the back of his neck, still looking away.]
Quill wants me to tell him the best way to off himself. He started freaking out when I told him no.
[Hannibal's advice flits through his thoughts in the moment.
'Make him believe that you are looking for a way that will not end in your death.'
This seems like as good an opportunity as any.]
no subject
Yes. Under the influences of some extremely powerful drugs and Hannibal's suggestions.
[ Will was of two minds about that incident. On the one hand, it was pretty sweet retribution. On the other ... his innocent dogs!!!
But any thoughts of the past fade to the background as House offers up what had been happening with Quill. ]
Why would he ask you such a thing?
no subject
I was gonna do it myself, just in case they wiped our memories. He literally begged me to let him use my scalpel to do it, instead. I told him no. He said he'd give me a bunch of music. I said no. So, he offered a no-questions-asked, drop-everything favor.
[House shrugs.]
My prize. [He sounds just thrilled about it.] Guess he thought I wanted to up the ante from cutting to suicide.
no subject
And what he wasn't saying. ]
Quill is a study in emotional extremes, House. He's trying to function under an impossible guilt complex and he's torn between wanting to be a hero and wanting to be a villain.
[ Looking down, Will reached up and pulled his glasses off his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose for a moment. ]
You're going to court extreme displays, when you poke at him.
no subject
[It's petulant, but it's true, so there. House has some mild sense of self-preservation very occasionally, and going after the guy who's claimed to want to murder him is a bad idea.]
I was even nice to the cat.
[So that he can torment her with it later. Details.]
no subject
House, you push people's' buttons, it's what you do. But some of the people aren't going to hold up well under that kind of prodding.
It can't surprise you that much when someone shatters under that kind of pressure?
no subject
I don't need people to spare me pain. I know how to deal with it.
[The physical kind much better than the other kinds.]
no subject
But he couldn't ignore the way his inner mind's eyes flashed, the pendulum swinging with a soft fhwum fhwum. It wasn't a full recreation of any given scene, but rather a soft tumble into a psyche not his own.
A man so driven by the impossible task of earning the recognition of an abusive father, that the failure to attain the impossible had shattered the child within. Leaving behind the fiercely independent man, determined to rely on noone but himself. Ultimately betrayed in that very basic need by his own body and then by the person he'd allowed in close.
In a weaker man the destruction of basic trusts could have lead down the path of a spree killer. However the strength of a good heart had instead turned that pain and rage towards the only acceptable subject; himself.
Already in a dangerously unhealthy position, Norfinbury had only added fuel to the self destructive fires. The urge was pitched beyond measure now, to destroy rather than surrender.
Only like it was back home, a good heart turned it inwards, rather than out. Despite what people saw from the outside, looking in. Inwards where his will was in command. Except Norfinbury was a living hell for almost all of them and no matter how desperately he bellowed out his demands, the pain didn't let up.
Which left the child still aching for recognition that wasn't coming, and the cycle started all over again.
House must be exhausted.
Will blinked rapidly a couple of times and then cast his gaze down and to the side. Giving ground to the raised hackles and bared teeth. Leaving House's snarls as the last words on the subject. ]
no subject
The doctor just drops his own gaze and grabs the chew toy from out of his pack. Screw it. Will's already seen it, seen the teeth marks. House gnaws on that and goes back to stalking people on the network.]