[Damnit, House. He's just going to put his face into his palm over here.]
the alien thing was a joke about some conversation i maybe half remember when i countertrolled a dude who didnt have the first clue of how to troll properly jade was after not before but this has nothing to do with it thanks for prying btw really appreciate it
[He's got the impression House would keep digging if he didn't say it. It's similar to why he showed him his face earlier—he didn't know he was the House he was warned about, but when he guessed so accurately about the snake tail bird thing, there wasn't much point denying what would inevitably come out anyway.]
oh my god no it has nothing to do with romance you dont know the first thing about it
[He's been here a while, Davesprite. And also experienced the uncomfortable, mildly horrifying sensation that comes with having one of the people closest to you be from the wrong point in time.]
"it's complicated" and "you wouldnt understand" is teenager code for "i wanna paint my walls black and angst so i can feel cooler and mope without reproach" i'm hip to your lingo
if its bullshit then this is bullshit 3000 im on the turbo train to a vast bucket of hogwash shooting through nonsense tunnels 10 miles long if i even tried to get into it you would think im making something up to get around admitting my real problems and then keep teasing me about all the teenaged angst crawling in my radioactive nacho skin which is not cue to tell me to try it anyway because im not getting into it with some trumped up jackass who likes to hassle people for personal details
theyre a stupid accessory from a silly movie worn by a guy with a weird face plus its night and im indoors in a house with no electricity what part of me keeping them close like my hearts true love is not ironic this is entry level shit here man
but you're comparing yourself to him through irony or is the irony here that you're a real hot stud and he was only a poser? i mean you look like someone dumped a bottle of spray-on tan over your everything but some chicks dig that boys, too, i'm sure
okay, well first off branding doritos bring to mind basement-dwelling loserdom what we really need to do is market you as your daily dose of orange juice you wouldn't leave for the day without sucking down a tall glass of that sweet, tangy nectar from the gods
no can do i could try but the facade would crack faster than an octogenarian hip against a flight of cement stairs apple juice is my one true love i cant betray it ive filled my veins with that sweet elixir and if you cut me ill bleed the truth
[Okay, so maybe he's a little interested. The troll blood and their weird colors had been fascinating. Patently ridiculous, but fascinating. He'd like to get Davesprite's blood under a microscope.]
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rubikscomplex) wrote2015-08-27 10:05 am
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the alien thing was a joke about some conversation i maybe half remember when i countertrolled a dude who didnt have the first clue of how to troll properly
jade was after not before but this has nothing to do with it
thanks for prying btw really appreciate it
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that's what i'm here for, buddy
so puppy-chan found a new beau and you're bummed?
if it makes you feel better
i'm pretty sure you're cuter
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oh my god no
it has nothing to do with romance
you dont know the first thing about it
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aren't you?
[Because if it's not romance, it's probably timeline shenanigans in this place.]
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[Are you shitting him, House. How do you do that?]
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[He's been here a while, Davesprite. And also experienced the uncomfortable, mildly horrifying sensation that comes with having one of the people closest to you be from the wrong point in time.]
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for a whole lot of reasons you wouldnt understand
and not really your business beyond that
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is teenager code for
"i wanna paint my walls black and angst
so i can feel cooler and mope without reproach"
i'm hip to your lingo
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just trust me on this
[He's not wrong, though.]
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i didn't say i don't understand it
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im on the turbo train to a vast bucket of hogwash
shooting through nonsense tunnels 10 miles long
if i even tried to get into it you would think im making something up to get around admitting my real problems and then keep teasing me about all the teenaged angst crawling in my radioactive nacho skin
which is not cue to tell me to try it anyway because im not getting into it with some trumped up jackass who likes to hassle people for personal details
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wow
harsh much, dude?
[He also likes just messing with people. There's that, too.]
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these are authentic memorabilia im wearing
[Or they were, before getting alchemized with his iPhone and turned orange through prototyping. Whatever.]
also theyre ironic
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why don't you tell me your personal definition of ironic?
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plus its night and im indoors in a house with no electricity
what part of me keeping them close like my hearts true love is not ironic
this is entry level shit here man
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love yourself more
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or is the irony here
that you're a real hot stud and he was only a poser?
i mean
you look like someone dumped a bottle of spray-on tan over your everything
but some chicks dig that
boys, too, i'm sure
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one pedoxenozoophile stud to nubile apprentice
is the marinated in dorito dust look really gonna sell
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branding
doritos bring to mind basement-dwelling loserdom
what we really need to do is market you as your daily dose of orange juice
you wouldn't leave for the day without sucking down a tall glass of that sweet, tangy nectar from the gods
you see where i'm going with this, i hope
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i could try but the facade would crack faster than an octogenarian hip against a flight of cement stairs
apple juice is my one true love
i cant betray it
ive filled my veins with that sweet elixir and if you cut me ill bleed the truth
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show me
[Okay, so maybe he's a little interested. The troll blood and their weird colors had been fascinating. Patently ridiculous, but fascinating. He'd like to get Davesprite's blood under a microscope.]
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[It's not actually apple juice, but he's not gonna scratch himself just to show off the yellow glowy stuff he does have.]
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cw: implied child abuse??? house is just his own cw, sorry
cw: continued implications because how else to handle this than being inappropriately nonchalant
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cw: implied underage sex
HOUSE.... (I expected he'd pull that sooner or later)
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