theyre a stupid accessory from a silly movie worn by a guy with a weird face plus its night and im indoors in a house with no electricity what part of me keeping them close like my hearts true love is not ironic this is entry level shit here man
but you're comparing yourself to him through irony or is the irony here that you're a real hot stud and he was only a poser? i mean you look like someone dumped a bottle of spray-on tan over your everything but some chicks dig that boys, too, i'm sure
okay, well first off branding doritos bring to mind basement-dwelling loserdom what we really need to do is market you as your daily dose of orange juice you wouldn't leave for the day without sucking down a tall glass of that sweet, tangy nectar from the gods
no can do i could try but the facade would crack faster than an octogenarian hip against a flight of cement stairs apple juice is my one true love i cant betray it ive filled my veins with that sweet elixir and if you cut me ill bleed the truth
[Okay, so maybe he's a little interested. The troll blood and their weird colors had been fascinating. Patently ridiculous, but fascinating. He'd like to get Davesprite's blood under a microscope.]
you sure you don't wanna check it's still like you remember it? because this place has a way of changing people we got a vampire who found out he had a heartbeat
"francine," he used to say to me that was his little pet name "francine, every full moon i look through you i see that spotless transparency and i think to myself 'if only i'd taken a bat to you sooner'" it was a give-and-take relationship
a tiny little nick isn't gonna kill you man up or sprite up whatever
cw: continued implications because how else to handle this than being inappropriately nonchalant
[The nonchalance does make him wonder, but House isn't the person who asks those questions unless it's to needle someone when they're seriously annoying him or have decided they want to play psychoanalyst. Coughangelcough.]
withholding much? i bet no one ever invited you to sprite prom
[Not like Davesprite would give an easy answer, even if not for House being House. Dave got to come to terms with all that; Davesprite has yet to hit the mark.]
sprite prom wasnt a thing because the only others around were a dead grandma clown and a tentacled cat princess and i aint into that youre missing the point i could show you but its funnier letting you do your backhanded begging routine
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wow
harsh much, dude?
[He also likes just messing with people. There's that, too.]
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these are authentic memorabilia im wearing
[Or they were, before getting alchemized with his iPhone and turned orange through prototyping. Whatever.]
also theyre ironic
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why don't you tell me your personal definition of ironic?
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plus its night and im indoors in a house with no electricity
what part of me keeping them close like my hearts true love is not ironic
this is entry level shit here man
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love yourself more
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or is the irony here
that you're a real hot stud and he was only a poser?
i mean
you look like someone dumped a bottle of spray-on tan over your everything
but some chicks dig that
boys, too, i'm sure
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one pedoxenozoophile stud to nubile apprentice
is the marinated in dorito dust look really gonna sell
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branding
doritos bring to mind basement-dwelling loserdom
what we really need to do is market you as your daily dose of orange juice
you wouldn't leave for the day without sucking down a tall glass of that sweet, tangy nectar from the gods
you see where i'm going with this, i hope
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i could try but the facade would crack faster than an octogenarian hip against a flight of cement stairs
apple juice is my one true love
i cant betray it
ive filled my veins with that sweet elixir and if you cut me ill bleed the truth
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show me
[Okay, so maybe he's a little interested. The troll blood and their weird colors had been fascinating. Patently ridiculous, but fascinating. He'd like to get Davesprite's blood under a microscope.]
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[It's not actually apple juice, but he's not gonna scratch himself just to show off the yellow glowy stuff he does have.]
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you sure you don't wanna check it's still like you remember it?
because this place has a way of changing people
we got a vampire who found out he had a heartbeat
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but what about you
is being a window new or were you always like this
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we knew it was always a possibility i'd pick up something like that
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anyway
i dont feel like bleeding
so im not going to
if i get a cut later or whatever ill find out then
cw: implied child abuse??? house is just his own cw, sorry
that was his little pet name
"francine, every full moon i look through you
i see that spotless transparency
and i think to myself
'if only i'd taken a bat to you sooner'"
it was a give-and-take relationship
a tiny little nick isn't gonna kill you
man up
or sprite up
whatever
cw: continued implications because how else to handle this than being inappropriately nonchalant
no shit it wouldnt kill me
i am as manspritely as i want to be but the answers still no
[If only he'd been grabbed three years earlier, he would have been leaking the stuff all over from his injuries, but here we are.]
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withholding much?
i bet no one ever invited you to sprite prom
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sprite prom wasnt a thing because the only others around were a dead grandma clown and a tentacled cat princess
and i aint into that
youre missing the point
i could show you
but its funnier letting you do your backhanded begging routine
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i didn't realize you had such lofty standards
[Let's just redirect the conversation since he's not getting what he wants.]
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let alone read the mysteries within
[If you're gonna throw bullshit at him he'll throw it right back.]
cw: implied underage sex
do you even have a bone to throw her?
HOUSE.... (I expected he'd pull that sooner or later)
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