If I knew this was gonna turn into 'girl talk,' I wouldn't've gotten up.
[In spite of the snap, House stays where he is for the moment. He can tell it's bothering Will, so he'll suffer it for a short spell, at least.]
The guy's suicidal. I mean, who isn't here? He sucks at not actually showing it, though. And he gets attached. [To admit? Not to admit?] He took care of me when I thought I was a kid. Before you got here, like right before, I died. I was ten again, almost eleven. Rhys, Carsen, and Strange took care of me. It happened in the middle of detoxing.
[House rubs a thumb across his brow and sighs.]
Then we go the other way with that alternate reality bullshit. I thought I'd been here two years, maybe more. Long time to go without some tail... he had a tail. There was a hot bath. [He shifts uncomfortably, not sure if he really wants to tell Will this, but it's not like he's been able to talk to anyone else about it. Like hell is he telling Wilson he slept with another guy, even in a fake memory. The flak he'd get for all the gay jokes he's made over the years.] You'd think a guy like that'd know how to deal with a one-night stand. Especially when it wasn't even real.
[ House is a generous man, to stay and address what is bothering Will. When the doctor snapped, Will was prepared for him to shut down the conversation. It certainly would not have been the first time. But House continues and Will sits quietly and listens, letting his friend just talk.
There doesn't appear to be any surprise to the news that House had enjoyed a homosexual encounter in an alternate timeline. A timeline that played with these perception of how long they had been trapped and alone in this place. If anything, he would have been surprised if House hadn't sought comfort when offered.
The news about his death price did sober the ex-profiler. He'd met 'child House' in his own experience with distorted perception, and could only imagine the strain. Not only in the regression to childhood but also upon returning to his actual age and dealing with the aftermath of his defenses being down.
It was tempting to call out that House could no longer 'no homo' him when they ended up in those situations, but he didn't think his friend would appreciate the humor at this moment. Maybe later.
For now, Will allowed himself to drift back over his experiences with Rhys, connecting them to what House was saying here and now, before he looked down and poked at his crackers. ]
He craves connection. [ He offered, trying -trying- to tread lightly. ] We all need connections, especially going through so much, for so long in this place. [ It was his way of saying that alternate reality or not there was a reality to that kind of need, and there was no regret in that. ]
Has he lost someone, or something vital while he's been here?
Purpose. [It's what House has deduced about the other man.] Guy doesn't know what he's doing with his life. He wants to help, but things blow up in his face when he tries. And he's the sensitive type.
[That's said with a small curl of his lips in disgust. House is well aware that part of the reason Rhys' own frailties coming to the fore irritates him is that he sees some of himself in the younger man. And when Rhys breaks apart, House wants to snap and snarl that he shouldn't be this weak. If he's this weak, if he needs people this much, then there's a piece of House that might be that weak, might need that much. It's frightening and pulls him back to when he'd been in a child's mindset. Vulnerable. Telegraphing every weak point at a virtual screaming volume.]
Guy needs to get his head in the game and stop focusing on failures. He doesn't know how to get past them. [That, too, is one of the more frustrating things about the man. At least in House's opinion.] Failure tells us something. He doesn't get that. He just sees the big middle finger this place throws at everyone most of the time.
[ADMIN knows most of his experiments don't go anywhere.]
[ How he sucked at this whole, offering comforting advice thing. Honestly, Will wouldn't have even attempted it with anyone other than House or Hannibal, his own damage was just too extensive to allow him to be useful in this area.
Even when he'd tried to help Jack, with Bella's illness, it had been more a case of sitting with a friend, just being there and ultimately listening a little. Jack had ended up leaning more on Hannibal in the end, which probably said something about Will's ineptitude in this arena, but the ex-profiler wasn't going to focus on that.
He was just going to try his best, and work off the assumption that if he really fucked it up, House would simply shut down and tell him to eat his crackers and stop talking. ]
That's the risk with trying to help. [ Will remarked quietly. ] Things go wrong, between intention and result. Emotions get into the mix and it becomes unpredictable.
[ Sometimes in a way that was negative, but also sometimes in a way that was positive. Himself and House being an example of the latter. Though Will was happy to say such a thing in a round about way, to avoid getting swatted like a naughty puppy. ]
Has anyone shown him how to get past them? [ Will asked, putting the spotlight back on Rhys for a moment, his question genuine. ] You and I are so used to functioning through what our lives have thrown at us, we've learned how to survive it. Learned so long ago that we've probably forgotten how we got here.
[ Or in other words, they've both been living with pain for so long, they have survived because they learned to see failures as positive. If they hadn't ... neither of them would be alive to be here. ]
I tried. He just shut down. [House yelled at him and tried to incite him to anger and action. Coddling isn't his particular strong suit.] Let one of the warm fuzzies handle it. I already told him to leave Lecter alone.
[So, at least, he's safe from any potential manipulation by the psychiatrist while he's in a vulnerable state.]
[ 'Danger, danger, Will Robinson'! It had been a joke in the police academy where Will's unique gift had really started to flourish and it was flashing all manner of signals at him at the moment.
House's words were in direct conflict to his mien and it was obvious why. Will considered dragging it out into the light, but in the end he dismissed it. Even as bad as he was at peopling, he could see that they had crossed away from that particular opportunity. It might come up again, or it might not. Will was going to let House lead this particular dance in the future. ]
Hannibal would have already leveraged an opportunity if he felt it was beneficial. I think he's got a line elsewhere. [ He glanced over quickly and added. ] Beyond what you and I talked about earlier.
Oh, boy. [Doesn't he sound enthusiastic?] Who should I be keeping an eye on for the psychopath hour?
[If Will's going to drop the matter of Rhys, House is more than happy to do so, as well. He's struggling with what he wants to do with the kid. Having his not be hurt by the resident psycho-in-hiding is the one place where he's absolutely certain.]
[ Will's answer to the question of what to do about Rhys would probably be a bit more firm then what House might be prepared pursue. One of those instances where Will's reserved sharpness would clash with House's genuine desire not to hurt people.
As for the question, Will arched his eyebrows and simply asked. ]
Do you really want to know? [ It was a sincere question. Sometimes ignorance was bliss when it came to Hannibal's machinations. ]
Yeah, good luck to him on that. Watson's got his own psychotic guard dog. A pair of them, actually. [House doesn't much like Sherlock or Bucky, but he can't see them letting Hannibal get his hooks into Watson.]
[ Will shook his head and gave his crackers a small spin on the floor. ]
Hannibal's already in Watson's head. He may have a pair of psychotic guard dogs but then I -in theory- had guard dogs of my own in Alana and Jack. Hannibal still got around them, because if you don't recognize the risk? [ Will shrugged and stopped playing with the crackers. ]
You did the singular most intelligent thing you could when you told me what happened. People don't do that, they think they can handle Hannibal alone, and you can't. By telling me, you've put a drain on the corruptive influence. It is no longer singularly internalized where it can only fester and grow. It is exposed.
Watson has created his own perfect storm. He's trying so hard to be an island unto himself, that he's effectively shutting out the very people who could protect him, while letting in the predator.
At the moment? He's actually enjoying Watson's companionship. [ Will leaned his head back against the wall. ] He is capable of genuinely liking someone, but also want to get in there and lay the threads in case he has to pull them later.
[ He considered pointing out that this was not unlike the way House liked to get under peoples' skin and push them to see what happened. It was that same curiosity, only House was academically curious, where as Hannibal was ruthlessly planning.
But given that House was already tender on the subject of Hannibal, Will kept that observation to himself. ]
Watson affords him a number of moves if he ends up in a situation where he requires them. Especially given his relationship to those two psychotic guard dogs.
Well... no one likes their puppet's strings breaking in the middle of an act, I guess. Things get messy. [And he probably should be able to understand that as easily as he does, but manipulation is something House doesn't as well. He'll admit he's not as good as Hannibal, but he's not too far behind him. He can draw that connection himself without Will's input, for better or worse.]
Are you planning to do anything, or let the chips fall where they will? Watson's a big boy and all that.
[ Picking up the crackers, Will grabbed his bag and tucked them away; stalling. Eventually he set the bag aside, glanced around to make sure he was aware of where everybody was either sleeping or otherwise occupied, then he drew up one knee and tipped himself towards House. Not invading personal space, just keeping the conversation private. ]
Watson wouldn't listen to me if I tried. That's how Hannibal works, he makes sure that those he keeps close, believe in him at least more so than they would believe in someone like me.
[ Add on the fact that Will had never made a particularly good impression on Watson, that was definitely a non-starter.
Besides. ]
House, I don't know if you will understand this, because I don't know if any sane person would want to understand this. [ Commentary on himself and his circumstances, rather than House's ability to grasp the impossible. ] Hannibal is as equally driven to destroy and consume me as he is to be in love with me, almost above anyone else ... even Miller. I am both a weakness and a threat to him, but I am almost the person who sees him and doesn't flinch away.
It's a precarious balancing act and it is a question of when, not if, the scales tip towards the murder option.
[ Saying it aloud, for the first time it made Will feel ... weak, in front of House, as if he'd failed, and a heavy wash of shame came with it. But he took a deep breath and kept driving to where he was going with all this. ]
If it was just he and I? I know I could take him down with me, I've done it once already. But now there is too great a risk of collateral damage, and I'm tired of the collateral damage.
[ He knew House would seethe at the idea of being protected, so Will went at that in a roundabout way. It was House he was protecting, but also Ecks, Ginger, Watson ... those who would be left behind with Hannibal if Will failed to take the older man with him. ]
So he and I are at a bit of an unspoken truce, compromise even. We've always been a zero sum game, and here is no different. If I were to go in and mess with his machinations, that would destroy the balance and then it would be open warfare between us.
That said, I've done what I could to try to get Sherlock to pay attention, but I don't know how much good it did.
[House closes his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair, rubbing at the back of his neck. There's a quiet sigh, but he doesn't sound particularly judgmental when he speaks.]
You know how to pick 'em, Graham Cracker. I'd say I'm surprised Holmes didn't pick up anything when he was traveling with Lecter, but I don't exactly chat with the guy on the regular. So maybe he did pick up something and he's keeping it close to the vest? [One can hope. House isn't going to count on it, though.] Even if he hasn't, we're getting down to the wire, and the wifey got offed not long ago and hasn't come back. He's gotta be keeping a close eye on his buddy boy.
[Like House would be on Wilson if Amber woke up and promptly died again.]
So, we stay out of it. Fine. Doubt Lecter's gonna need to pull the strings. As long as Beckett keeps his trap shut, we're good.
[ It was tempting to point out that Molly had been a good choice. But the truth was he had been the bad choice for her and he'd been selfish to let her make it. Will had never been cut out for a normal life, a normal family and he'd been fooling himself to think he could exist with one.
But he was simply grateful that the older man didn't appear disgusted with the weakness Will showed in this area. He believed that if House had been put off, he'd say so. ]
Hannibal is very good at hiding, especially when he can see a person's blind spot. Holmes has a huge one and I have no doubt Hannibal positioned himself right into it.
[ Reaching up, Will brushed his hand across his face, trying to chase off a headache. ]
I agree. We stay out of it, hope Beckett stays quiet. Though I expect he'd rather put me in his cross-hairs. I expect to have to sing for my supper, so to speak.
[There's more irritation in House's tone this time. He's not used to being beholden to people. In fact, House chooses brutal honesty most of the time to avoid this kind of situation. It's not a good place to be.]
He's staying quiet for now, and I haven't gotten any messages with the cryborg or Angelcakes yelling at me, so I assume he hasn't told them anything. Or at least not much. Not sure if he's plotting something, though.
[Ha ha ha... that might have played a minor role in his little breakdown earlier. If Beckett had been right... but he's not. House is fairly certain of that.]
And he needs to protect me from that. Pretty sure the guy thinks I'm some kinda fellow vamp or whatever. That or he's real sweet on me.
[ Given the tenor of their earlier conversation, Will studied House's profile for a moment as he turned the words over and over in his head. ]
For what it's worth. [ He began. ] Despite how deeply Hannibal is in my mind, I don't believe I ever lost my humanity. [ Which was probably the first positive thing Will has said about himself in all these situations. House could take that for what it was worth to him. ]
Another victim of Hannibal's, his psychiatrist actually a woman named Bedelia, was talking with me once and she brought up what it meant to come across an injured bird. How for her, now, she felt only the urge to crush it. I know in myself, that my instinct is still to help it.
[ He looked over towards the shadows pensively for a moment. ]
I don't know if we can say I survived Hannibal, with my humanity intact, because we both know I didn't survive in the end. But you will get out of this, House and you will survive and your humanity is not in question. It goes too deep in you and you have people to guide you.
[ He was thinking of Wilson, Ecks, Ginger, Quark. There were others, but Will could be something of a jealous brat as well.
His lips twitched, and tilted his head, giving his friend a tired but sassy look out of the corner of his eye. ]
[House thinks about the conversation he'd had with Hannibal before all this, asking him how to stop Will from trying to kill himself in the suit. He'd called Will Hannibal's shattered teacup and referred to himself as the broken bird. It's funny how metaphors come full circle.
It's easier to focus in on the last comment than any of the heavier ones. House sighs, mock-dramatic.]
At least now I know what it's like being a rock star. Groupies, man.
[ The comment caused Will to chuckle softly, and though he didn't actually sing he did speak poetry in something resembling time to the rhythm. ]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars And live in hilltop houses, drivin' fifteen cars The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat'
[ He smirked then and leaned his head back against the wall. ]
Except you hate that kind of fawning attention. Not at first, I mean what person doesn't enjoying a good fawning, but eventually it gets intrusive, with no substance.
Thank you for telling me what I feel. Where would I be without you? [Dead. Most certainly dead.
House flicks at some of the crumbs from his peanut butter cracker.]
I'm going back to sleep, unless you have any other earth-shattering revelations to share. [God he hopes Will doesn't. He's tapping into the reserve of emotional energy for today, and he's going to want to have nothing to do with anyone tomorrow, probably, to recharge.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rubikscomplex) wrote2015-08-27 10:05 am
[action] (cw: mentions of suicide and sex)
[In spite of the snap, House stays where he is for the moment. He can tell it's bothering Will, so he'll suffer it for a short spell, at least.]
The guy's suicidal. I mean, who isn't here? He sucks at not actually showing it, though. And he gets attached. [To admit? Not to admit?] He took care of me when I thought I was a kid. Before you got here, like right before, I died. I was ten again, almost eleven. Rhys, Carsen, and Strange took care of me. It happened in the middle of detoxing.
[House rubs a thumb across his brow and sighs.]
Then we go the other way with that alternate reality bullshit. I thought I'd been here two years, maybe more. Long time to go without some tail... he had a tail. There was a hot bath. [He shifts uncomfortably, not sure if he really wants to tell Will this, but it's not like he's been able to talk to anyone else about it. Like hell is he telling Wilson he slept with another guy, even in a fake memory. The flak he'd get for all the gay jokes he's made over the years.] You'd think a guy like that'd know how to deal with a one-night stand. Especially when it wasn't even real.
[action] (cw: mentions of suicide and sex)
There doesn't appear to be any surprise to the news that House had enjoyed a homosexual encounter in an alternate timeline. A timeline that played with these perception of how long they had been trapped and alone in this place. If anything, he would have been surprised if House hadn't sought comfort when offered.
The news about his death price did sober the ex-profiler. He'd met 'child House' in his own experience with distorted perception, and could only imagine the strain. Not only in the regression to childhood but also upon returning to his actual age and dealing with the aftermath of his defenses being down.
It was tempting to call out that House could no longer 'no homo' him when they ended up in those situations, but he didn't think his friend would appreciate the humor at this moment. Maybe later.
For now, Will allowed himself to drift back over his experiences with Rhys, connecting them to what House was saying here and now, before he looked down and poked at his crackers. ]
He craves connection. [ He offered, trying -trying- to tread lightly. ] We all need connections, especially going through so much, for so long in this place. [ It was his way of saying that alternate reality or not there was a reality to that kind of need, and there was no regret in that. ]
Has he lost someone, or something vital while he's been here?
[action] (cw: mentions of suicide and sex)
[That's said with a small curl of his lips in disgust. House is well aware that part of the reason Rhys' own frailties coming to the fore irritates him is that he sees some of himself in the younger man. And when Rhys breaks apart, House wants to snap and snarl that he shouldn't be this weak. If he's this weak, if he needs people this much, then there's a piece of House that might be that weak, might need that much. It's frightening and pulls him back to when he'd been in a child's mindset. Vulnerable. Telegraphing every weak point at a virtual screaming volume.]
Guy needs to get his head in the game and stop focusing on failures. He doesn't know how to get past them. [That, too, is one of the more frustrating things about the man. At least in House's opinion.] Failure tells us something. He doesn't get that. He just sees the big middle finger this place throws at everyone most of the time.
[ADMIN knows most of his experiments don't go anywhere.]
[action] (cw: mentions of suicide and sex)
Even when he'd tried to help Jack, with Bella's illness, it had been more a case of sitting with a friend, just being there and ultimately listening a little. Jack had ended up leaning more on Hannibal in the end, which probably said something about Will's ineptitude in this arena, but the ex-profiler wasn't going to focus on that.
He was just going to try his best, and work off the assumption that if he really fucked it up, House would simply shut down and tell him to eat his crackers and stop talking. ]
That's the risk with trying to help. [ Will remarked quietly. ] Things go wrong, between intention and result. Emotions get into the mix and it becomes unpredictable.
[ Sometimes in a way that was negative, but also sometimes in a way that was positive. Himself and House being an example of the latter. Though Will was happy to say such a thing in a round about way, to avoid getting swatted like a naughty puppy. ]
Has anyone shown him how to get past them? [ Will asked, putting the spotlight back on Rhys for a moment, his question genuine. ] You and I are so used to functioning through what our lives have thrown at us, we've learned how to survive it. Learned so long ago that we've probably forgotten how we got here.
[ Or in other words, they've both been living with pain for so long, they have survived because they learned to see failures as positive. If they hadn't ... neither of them would be alive to be here. ]
[action] (cw: mentions of suicide and sex)
[So, at least, he's safe from any potential manipulation by the psychiatrist while he's in a vulnerable state.]
[action] (cw: mentions of suicide and sex)
House's words were in direct conflict to his mien and it was obvious why. Will considered dragging it out into the light, but in the end he dismissed it. Even as bad as he was at peopling, he could see that they had crossed away from that particular opportunity. It might come up again, or it might not. Will was going to let House lead this particular dance in the future. ]
Hannibal would have already leveraged an opportunity if he felt it was beneficial. I think he's got a line elsewhere. [ He glanced over quickly and added. ] Beyond what you and I talked about earlier.
[action]
[If Will's going to drop the matter of Rhys, House is more than happy to do so, as well. He's struggling with what he wants to do with the kid. Having his not be hurt by the resident psycho-in-hiding is the one place where he's absolutely certain.]
[action]
As for the question, Will arched his eyebrows and simply asked. ]
Do you really want to know? [ It was a sincere question. Sometimes ignorance was bliss when it came to Hannibal's machinations. ]
[action]
[Ignorance might be bliss, but House would rather see a freight train coming than have it sneak up on him.]
[action]
I believe he is making inroads on Dr. Watson.
[action]
Yeah, good luck to him on that. Watson's got his own psychotic guard dog. A pair of them, actually. [House doesn't much like Sherlock or Bucky, but he can't see them letting Hannibal get his hooks into Watson.]
[action]
Hannibal's already in Watson's head. He may have a pair of psychotic guard dogs but then I -in theory- had guard dogs of my own in Alana and Jack. Hannibal still got around them, because if you don't recognize the risk? [ Will shrugged and stopped playing with the crackers. ]
You did the singular most intelligent thing you could when you told me what happened. People don't do that, they think they can handle Hannibal alone, and you can't. By telling me, you've put a drain on the corruptive influence. It is no longer singularly internalized where it can only fester and grow. It is exposed.
Watson has created his own perfect storm. He's trying so hard to be an island unto himself, that he's effectively shutting out the very people who could protect him, while letting in the predator.
[action]
Well, what's he planning to do? I can't see him sicking Watson on anyone people wouldn't cheer about. What does he get out of that?
[action]
[ He considered pointing out that this was not unlike the way House liked to get under peoples' skin and push them to see what happened. It was that same curiosity, only House was academically curious, where as Hannibal was ruthlessly planning.
But given that House was already tender on the subject of Hannibal, Will kept that observation to himself. ]
Watson affords him a number of moves if he ends up in a situation where he requires them. Especially given his relationship to those two psychotic guard dogs.
[action]
Are you planning to do anything, or let the chips fall where they will? Watson's a big boy and all that.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation.
Watson wouldn't listen to me if I tried. That's how Hannibal works, he makes sure that those he keeps close, believe in him at least more so than they would believe in someone like me.
[ Add on the fact that Will had never made a particularly good impression on Watson, that was definitely a non-starter.
Besides. ]
House, I don't know if you will understand this, because I don't know if any sane person would want to understand this. [ Commentary on himself and his circumstances, rather than House's ability to grasp the impossible. ] Hannibal is as equally driven to destroy and consume me as he is to be in love with me, almost above anyone else ... even Miller. I am both a weakness and a threat to him, but I am almost the person who sees him and doesn't flinch away.
It's a precarious balancing act and it is a question of when, not if, the scales tip towards the murder option.
[ Saying it aloud, for the first time it made Will feel ... weak, in front of House, as if he'd failed, and a heavy wash of shame came with it. But he took a deep breath and kept driving to where he was going with all this. ]
If it was just he and I? I know I could take him down with me, I've done it once already. But now there is too great a risk of collateral damage, and I'm tired of the collateral damage.
[ He knew House would seethe at the idea of being protected, so Will went at that in a roundabout way. It was House he was protecting, but also Ecks, Ginger, Watson ... those who would be left behind with Hannibal if Will failed to take the older man with him. ]
So he and I are at a bit of an unspoken truce, compromise even. We've always been a zero sum game, and here is no different. If I were to go in and mess with his machinations, that would destroy the balance and then it would be open warfare between us.
That said, I've done what I could to try to get Sherlock to pay attention, but I don't know how much good it did.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation.
You know how to pick 'em, Graham Cracker. I'd say I'm surprised Holmes didn't pick up anything when he was traveling with Lecter, but I don't exactly chat with the guy on the regular. So maybe he did pick up something and he's keeping it close to the vest? [One can hope. House isn't going to count on it, though.] Even if he hasn't, we're getting down to the wire, and the wifey got offed not long ago and hasn't come back. He's gotta be keeping a close eye on his buddy boy.
[Like House would be on Wilson if Amber woke up and promptly died again.]
So, we stay out of it. Fine. Doubt Lecter's gonna need to pull the strings. As long as Beckett keeps his trap shut, we're good.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation.
But he was simply grateful that the older man didn't appear disgusted with the weakness Will showed in this area. He believed that if House had been put off, he'd say so. ]
Hannibal is very good at hiding, especially when he can see a person's blind spot. Holmes has a huge one and I have no doubt Hannibal positioned himself right into it.
[ Reaching up, Will brushed his hand across his face, trying to chase off a headache. ]
I agree. We stay out of it, hope Beckett stays quiet. Though I expect he'd rather put me in his cross-hairs. I expect to have to sing for my supper, so to speak.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation)
[There's more irritation in House's tone this time. He's not used to being beholden to people. In fact, House chooses brutal honesty most of the time to avoid this kind of situation. It's not a good place to be.]
He's staying quiet for now, and I haven't gotten any messages with the cryborg or Angelcakes yelling at me, so I assume he hasn't told them anything. Or at least not much. Not sure if he's plotting something, though.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation)
[ He glanced over and couldn't help asking. ]
What was the subject of your riot act?
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal ideation)
[Ha ha ha... that might have played a minor role in his little breakdown earlier. If Beckett had been right... but he's not. House is fairly certain of that.]
And he needs to protect me from that. Pretty sure the guy thinks I'm some kinda fellow vamp or whatever. That or he's real sweet on me.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal)
For what it's worth. [ He began. ] Despite how deeply Hannibal is in my mind, I don't believe I ever lost my humanity. [ Which was probably the first positive thing Will has said about himself in all these situations. House could take that for what it was worth to him. ]
Another victim of Hannibal's, his psychiatrist actually a woman named Bedelia, was talking with me once and she brought up what it meant to come across an injured bird. How for her, now, she felt only the urge to crush it. I know in myself, that my instinct is still to help it.
[ He looked over towards the shadows pensively for a moment. ]
I don't know if we can say I survived Hannibal, with my humanity intact, because we both know I didn't survive in the end. But you will get out of this, House and you will survive and your humanity is not in question. It goes too deep in you and you have people to guide you.
[ He was thinking of Wilson, Ecks, Ginger, Quark. There were others, but Will could be something of a jealous brat as well.
His lips twitched, and tilted his head, giving his friend a tired but sassy look out of the corner of his eye. ]
But I definitely believe he's sweet on you.
[action] (cw: emotionally unhealthy dynamics, suicidal)
It's easier to focus in on the last comment than any of the heavier ones. House sighs, mock-dramatic.]
At least now I know what it's like being a rock star. Groupies, man.
[action]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses, drivin' fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat'
[ He smirked then and leaned his head back against the wall. ]
Except you hate that kind of fawning attention. Not at first, I mean what person doesn't enjoying a good fawning, but eventually it gets intrusive, with no substance.
[action]
House flicks at some of the crumbs from his peanut butter cracker.]
I'm going back to sleep, unless you have any other earth-shattering revelations to share. [God he hopes Will doesn't. He's tapping into the reserve of emotional energy for today, and he's going to want to have nothing to do with anyone tomorrow, probably, to recharge.]
[action]